Long distance relationships are nothing new. But unless you’re in one, or have been in one, it’s likely you don’t know much about them! As someone who is currently in a long distance relationship, I’ll tell you upfront that having your partner thousands of miles away is nothing easy. Quite frankly, it has been one of the craziest emotional roller coasters I have ever been on.
As with anything, it’s different for everyone, but here is my personal experience.
You feel like NOBODY. GETS. IT.
I wish I got a dollar for every time I get asked the question “wait a minute, it’s not that serious, right?”
No matter how blatantly rude this question sounds, it still gets asked all. the. time. The reason behind the wondering always varies, but it ranges from the speculation of how trust works, to the lack of physical togetherness. All very personal information, but suddenly, some feel entitled to know everything. It sometimes feels like a jab in the heart when you get bombarded with ridiculous questions like “If they’re so far away, how do you know they actually love you?” or “How do you know you actually like them if you can’t be with them in real life?” or “Why don’t you just find a new partner?” …Seriously? Real life? A new partner?! As if my love for them is anything less just because I don’t see them in person as often as others do.
Granted, I fully understand why people ask questions, and I honestly love talking about my relationship and answering what they have to ask! I never mind answering anything, really. It’s just the lack of empathy and respect behind many people that bothers me, and can sometimes even feel hurtful.
Because long distance relationships are considered “untraditional”, you’re likely on your own. It feels frustrating knowing that there isn’t anybody nearby that can fully resonate with what I am experiencing. Some days are fine, but there are also many days where my heart physically aches from missing my partner so much, but I can’t just talk about it since most people honestly don’t get it.
Two words: Planning. Ahead.
The cost of travel is no joke. Unfortunately, though, it is the only way you can enjoy true togetherness with your partner. You each take turns making hefty investments to fly to visit one another, and let me tell you, it gets costly.
In my case, my partner and I live cross-country from one another, and in the span of one year, we saw each other only on four occasions. Amidst our hectic lives, schools, and jobs, it is all the more difficult making arrangements to leave everything to fly out. It is far from convenient, but personally, it’s all I ever want. There’s absolutely nothing like the anticipation before finally seeing them, and nothing like feeling the purest form of love once finally in their arms.
Point blank, with us there is a TON of planning ahead with flights, birthday packages, surprise letters, or even just scheduling when both of us can FaceTime during our own busy lives. Even the simplest video chat feels so special.
It doesn’t get easier.
You’d think you’d get used to the distance after time, but time definitely doesn’t heal in this case. For me, it only gets harder as time goes on. The more time passes, the stronger our relationship gets, and the more I miss them. It just hurts!
But to end on a positive note, you really do learn to appreciate your partner so much more than you would otherwise. Every hug, every kiss, every whatever, is so much more meaningful after having to wait so long for it. You really do cherish the love you have, and with that comes pure assurance and confidence in the relationship!
Featured Image Via: Viola Wang, artist