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Finding Home

I find the concept of finding home in people to be quite beautiful. A home is a place of your own. You know the layout of all the rooms, how loud the doors shut, and which stair is the sqeakiest. A home is a familiar place. Finding that familiarity in people is wonderful thing.

At a certain point in my life I felt I did not have my “home” person. I felt rather empty. Homes are a safe havens. Somewhere you know you can always come back to. Something definite. Knowing that you don’t have that is rather defeating. I came to the realization that I was treating myself as more of a hotel. I could not see my full worth. I was viewing myself as something small, temporary, not entirely whole. Without realizing it I was attracting people into my life that were visitors. I was a hotel, somewhere you stay when you’re on vacation. Somewhere you stay when you are happy and at your very best. After a few days you pack up your things and are off. I was meeting people that were exciting and full of life but had no interest in a long term friendship. Everyone was temporary because I didn’t see myself as someone worth the time and energy.

Once I recognized that I viewed myself as a hotel worked to build myself up. Houses take months to build and so does self worth. Day by day I did small things to better myself. I found home in writing, reading, and education. Setting time aside for me to learn more about who I was and what made me individual. I took a moment to explore different ways of expressing myself. Through this expression I attracted the most positive and uplifting people into my life. Once I found home within myself I formed healthy friendships. These were the type of friendships I only ever dreamed of creating.

Though this is a rather short story I want to stress that finding home within myself took time. Even now, almost a year later I find myself slipping into that hotel room mindset. From time to time I encounter someone that treats me as a hotel. You have to have the strength within yourself to know that you are so much more than a vacation. One thing is certain and it is that you will always be you, so work to progress yourself.

Do not start looking for home in others when you have not yet found home in yourself.

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