February 14th

It is the first year

That I will be experiencing Valentine’s day


Last year

And just about every year before that


Valentine’s day was filled with everything

But love


First grade

Instead of eating candy

And gossiping about crushes


I was hoping


Hoping that maybe this year

My dad will be my Valentine


But what was love to me

When there was distance


Freshman year

High school

Instead of getting roses

In first period


I wore the sweater my mom bought me


But I did not feel love

For money was too tight

To get joy out of a sweater that should have brought me smiles


Instead I felt guilt

Because I knew

There was another love trying to be made


Freshman year


Valentine’s Day was spent with empty bottles

Hoping that those bottles would turn into a boy

That would fill me with love


I was always

Looking for love

When I should have realized that I had none for myself



Valentine’s Day is different


Between my sister

Who gives me more love

Than I would have gotten from one thousand sweaters


Between my best friends

Who put aside their own storms

To deal with the tornadoes in my life


For they know those tornadoes

Can blow important parts of me away


Between my dad

Whose love only grows more

The more time we spend apart

The more distance between us


Who taught me a house is just a house

And a home is where we all are together


Between all the important people in my life

And in yours


Valentine’s day is about your significant



You are not alone on Valentine’s Day

Unless you choose to ignore

The love that Cupid

Hit you with the second you felt alone


For even if the people around you

Do not seem to love you


Remember to show yourself some

For you are the person you should admire

Every day of your life



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